Mother’s Day can be one of the hardest days of the year when you’re struggling to build your family. While friends and family members are celebrating that day, for you, it can feel like your empty arms will never be filled with the child you long for. You may not feel like joining in on the festivities, and we want you to know this is ok. Planning ahead can help you navigate this difficult day.
To get through Mother’s Day, here are some suggestions for making it easier on yourself:
Acknowledge that Mother’s Day may be difficult. Give yourself permission to feel sad, angry, or jealous rather than trying to push those feelings away.
Say no to family gatherings or make your time there brief. If you don’t feel up to going at all, find other ways to show the mothers in your life appreciation. This could involve taking them a gift on another day, taking them to dinner, or something else one on one. When communicating these ideas, it may sound something like: “Because of our infertility, getting together with the whole family for Mother’s Day is really painful right now. But we would love to take you to dinner Friday night to celebrate with you.”
Focus on your own mother or another woman in your life who has made a significant impact on you. Plan a spa day together, do service, or find other ways to spend time with her.
If you are religious, consider skipping church if it’s a situation that can be triggering for you. This can apply to other community settings as well.
Plan a self-care day for Mother’s Day. Go on a hike, get a massage, or binge watch your favorite show. Make this day about YOU and spend it the way you would like to.
Plan a weekend with your partner and focus on your relationship.
We hope these suggestions make this Mother’s Day a little more enjoyable for you. Please remember this Mother’s Day, on one of the loneliest, most heartbreaking days of the year, you are not alone. Here at UIRC, we offer you love and support as you go through this difficult time.