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5 Simple Ways to Build the Connection with Your Partner

-From the counselors at UIRC-

When February comes around, the renewed anticipation of feeling the "love in the air" comes with it, but its hard to make that feeling last when everything related to the holiday is 80% off the next day! Instead of focusing exclusively on material gifts and signs of affection, here are 5 ways that you and your partner can reconnect and strengthen your bond:


  1. Non sexual physical touch: holding hands, spooning, back rub. Connect with your partner without the pressure and complexity that sex (during infertility) brings to the partnership.

  2. Plan something you can both look forward to. Whether that’s a vacation, a date, or just a show you want to watch together, having something on the calendar you can both get excited about is helpful in promoting intimacy in your relationship.

  3. Find ways to share your appreciation for one another. This could mean a thank you for picking up the slack during a busy week or just appreciating that the other person is there when you need them.

  4. Take time to be more present in your conversations with one another and allow them to feel heard.

  5. Remember that infertility involves grief and each partner is often at a different stage of grief. Give your partner space to communicate what they are feeling without judgment.

Keep in mind that your goal with each of these is intentional connection. Skip your normal routines and truly focus on each other. Put your cell phones away, talk to each other without problem-solving or 'tasking,' and set the goal to regularly invest into spending time with each other.


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