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10 Ways to Respond to"When are you going to have kids?"


10 Ways to Respond to “When are you going to have kids?”


With the holidays coming up, this question may be asked more frequently by well-meaning friends and family members. However, this can be triggering and upsetting for the person being asked. Here are some quick responses you can use for this question, some more humorous and some more direct. You can decide what may be most helpful for you in each situation.


10 Ways to Respond to “When are you going to have kids?”


  1. “Hopefully 9 months from this morning!”

  2. “That is a topic my partner and I are keeping private.”

  3. “We have been struggling with infertility which has been emotionally difficult for us. There is a lot unknown right now.”

  4. “We don’t know, hopefully soon.”

  5. “We are focusing on ________ (traveling, work, saving money for treatments, etc.) right now.”

  6. “Let me check my ovulation calendar and I’ll get back to you.”

  7. “When we get $15,000 for treatments/adoption. Would you like to contribute to our fund?”

  8. “When we decide we don’t like sleep or money.”

  9. “This is a topic that is off limits for me. How are you and your family doing?”

  10. “That’s a tough subject for me right now, let’s talk about something else.”


Remember, how you respond depends on the individual you are speaking with and the situation you are in. Respond in the way that feels best for you and most importantly, remember that you don’t owe anyone any explanations!


Happy Thanksgiving!


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